


For now or Forever?

by Livingshroom



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: Cuddling, Dry Humping, M/M, Neck Kissing, Sexual Repression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 10:44:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2266788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livingshroom/pseuds/Livingshroom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back in the Big Brother House, Zach knew that Frankie and him couldn't ever go farther than chaste kisses and back rubs because of the cameras all around them. Now, in the jury house, there was nothing to stop him- except himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For now or Forever?

Zach hadn't been able to sit still for a week, and he was sure it had nothing to do with his ADHD. Ever since he had entered the jury house he was constantly fidgeting and pacing and tapping and picking and waiting. Always waiting.

"Why do you keep glancing at the door? Who do you think is going to walk in?" Hayden said it with that knowing voice that put Zach on edge and made him want to wipe the smirk off Hayden's face. 

"No one. I'm not waiting for- should we watch another movie tonight? But no more romances- if we watch another Nicholas Sparks movie I may have to stab my eyes out."  


"Okay, okay. No need to be so defensive."  


Hayden picked out 22 Jump Street and Zach loved that movie, but he could hardly pay attention. Half way through the movie he realized that his eyes had glazed over and he had been thinking about _him_. Zach's stomach was in knots and his breathing had gotten more ragged as he visualized Frankie lying on the HOH bed with half hooded eyes and leaning to whisper a secret and Zach was giggling and-  


"Dude, are you there? Come on, this is is the best part!"  


"Hmm? Fuck, sorry Hayden! I think I'm just tired or whatever. Think I’ll go to bed."  


Zach crept down the hall to his bedroom, careful to not wake Jocasta, and his bed seemed lonely and uninviting compared to the HOH bed that haunted his dreams. The alarm clock glowed 11:10 but he wasn't tired. Instead, he went to the bathroom and turned on the shower.  


When he got under the warm stream of water, he brought his hand lower until it was wrapped around himself. The first night that he had entered the jury house Zach had gotten off three times to try and make up for lost time, but now he was doing it to make his mind stop turning. 

Zach leaned against the wall and moved his hand up and down. When he did this, he didn't really like to fantasize about anything. Instead, Zach tried to concentrate on the movement of his fingers and the warm water, but his thoughts wandered off without his permission. When Zach came, moaning in shame, he was thinking about Frankie’s fingers wrapped tight around him.  


Zach pressed his face into the shower screen door and drew a frowny face on the glass. He started to write out Frankie’s name, wiped it out, and glanced around. Why was he like a teenage girl with a crush? God, he was a week away from writing Zach Grande on the back of his hand.   


 _Pathetic_ , he thought.

Zach left the shower with a confusing mixture of relief and shame. Sure, it hadn't been the first time that he had come thinking Frankie, but it was the first time that he had been conscious. All the other times had been wet dreams inside the Big Brother house, and he had hoped that it was only the madness of the house that had produced those strange fantasies. 

Zach’s sleep was restless. He dreamed that he was trapped in the Big Brother storage room, and he was banging against the door. The room started to fill with water and Zach's legs where made of lead. There was a window behind him, but he was too afraid to break it and the water kept rising.  


He woke up panting and covered in sweat.  


 _I'm fucked_ , Zach thought as he curled up in the darkness wishing that Frankie was besides him.

  


                                                                   ---------------------------------------------------------------

  


Zach walked into the kitchen, and the film crew told him to change because another house guest would be joining them. Hayden said that he had a bad feeling it was either Donny or Nicole.  


Zach kept wandering around the kitchen, pacing back and forth, even as the camera crew told him to be still for a shot. The door knob twisted, and Zach's heart clenched, but it was Donny who walked inside.  


Zach cheered at the sight of Donny, though he was sad that he had lost, and hugged him after the others. There was a strange tightness in his throat that he tried to clear as he chattered away with Donny.

When he watched the videotape, he couldn't help but fixate on Frankie. He tried not to watch him, but it was hard.  


Donny told them how he had been a part of Team America with Frankie and Derrick, but they hadn't wanted to keep him. Zach fleetingly thought of Zankie's failure, and he sympathized with Donny. Donny predicted that the next person through the doors this coming Friday would be Nicole and then Christine would be out after the double eviction.

"The boys are just pickin' of 'em girls like flies, and it's so hard to watch. I think someone will take Victoria to the end though jus' 'cause they know she can't win."  


"Who do you think is masterminding it all?" Hayden asked as they sat down at the kitchen table.

"Probably Frankie," Zach said before he could think it through, "He's really smart. Like the smartest person I know. He's definitely going to win this."  


"I doubt it," he muttered.  


Zach spent the rest of the day hanging out with Donny and talking, but he found himself biting his tongue every time he wanted to ask about Frankie. He managed to swallow down the questions for a good half hour before he couldn't hold in his curiosity any longer.  


"How are they doing- I mean how's he doing- Frankie. How's he?" Zach stumbled as he tried to blurt it all at once, and he flushed at his tactlessness. Donny gave him a measured look, a similar one to Hayden's, and patted him on the shoulder.  


"He's done okay. Slept a lot more than usual since you left. I definitely think that he missed you, and he loves you alot."  


"I doubt that..." Zach's heart fluttered at the thought of Frankie missing him, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. If he had loved him so much then why hadn't he trusted him or wanted to keep him? Sure, Zach knew that he was a screwup and couldn’t keep his mouth shut to save his life, but he would never have betrayed Frankie.  


Zach missed home and his family, and he tried to distract all the unrest inside of him. He took a swim in the pool with Hayden and then watched a movie with Donny. Zach got off again in the shower, and he tried to focus on just the feeling but he came with Frankie's name on his lips.  


Zach wished that he could go home and find some sexy bombshell to distract him because he had to stop thinking about him. It wasn't good for his mental health. Zach missed his smell and his laugh and his crazy characters, like Vodka Rachel, and his bulgy eyes and the warmth of his body at night. Zach missed him, and, no matter how he tried, he couldn't stay angry at Frankie in his head. He should be angry. He just wasn't.  


On Friday, like Donny predicted, Nicole was the first to walk in, and Zach laughed and called her a fruitloop for getting evicted twice. She and Hayden kissed shyly, and she told them how she had been miserable inside the Big Brother House and how only Victoria would hang out with her. Zach had to resist gagging at the thought of being friends with Victoria (she had ripped up his fucking hat!).  


Zach figured that Donny was right and Christine would be the next one to come in, but his eyes kept wandering to watch the door and he pulled the hair on his chin anxiously. Nicole was just about to show them what had happened when the door was thrown open.  
When Frankie walked into a room, Zach had trouble focusing on anyone else. Zach wished he could say that he kept his cool- this was the man who had backdoored him and taken away his chance at 500,000 dollars- but he couldn't. He ran straight into Frankie's arms and buried his head into his shoulder and hugged him tight. Frankie rubbed at his back and kissed him on the cheek whispering I missed you into his ear.  


"The couple has been reunited!" Hayden cheered, and Zach pushed Frankie back as he realized how it must look to all the cameras watching them and the viewers in America.  


Zach tried to keep calm after that, but he kept gravitating closer. He sat on the coach besides Frankie, and he consciously tried to stare only at the screen. Frankie had been placed on the block by Christine, and he had lost the POV to Cody. Frankie shrugged and said that they didn't want to keep him and there was nothing that he could do.  


Frankie was bitter as he talked about the double eviction, and Zach supposed he should also feel bitter about losing, but he wasn't. He had come on this show to play a great game and he had.  


"Well, it's been the longest 24 hours that I've had in a while. I'm going to decompress."  


It wasn't an invitation, but Zach followed Frankie to his room because there was no place that he would rather be. He perched on Frankie's bed and watched him unpack. Zach wasn't sure what he was waiting for, but he didn't want to leave.  


"How have you been?" Frankie's voice, which usually echoed off the walls, was soft when he talked to Zach, and Zach avoided his gaze.

"I've been good, you know? Me and Hayden have been chilling and bro-ing it out. It was nice to see Donny again, and I'm glad Nicole's back though because now Hayden can watch dumb, romantic movies with her."  


"Yeah?"

“Yeah. But I'm, uh, I'm happy that you're here. I mean I'm sorry you lost, but I'm happy that you're with m- with us." Zach played with his shorts, but he saw Frankie pause as he unpacked. Their eyes meet and Zach felt warm.  


"Yeah, well I’m still annoyed to be here. Fucking double eviction. But I had a feeling that there was a plan to backdoor me this week by Caleb anyways. Wouldn't that have been poetic justice? Backdoored by Caleb- the man who I used the veto on."  


"Yah, that would have sucked. Honestly, I hope that Derrick wins- he's been playing a killer game." Zach didn't want to talk about Big Brother anymore, but he didn't know what else to say. He was afraid that if talked about anything else he would slip up and say something dumb like _I think about you when I shower_ or _did you really miss me?_  


Frankie told him about Team America and all the tasks they had to do and how they had put on a play when he left but America voted No. Zach lay on his bed, and he was soothed by Frankie's presence. It would be so easy to just stay here and listen to Frankie for now. Zach had to be careful because for now could easily turn into forever.

"I'm so fucking tired, dude. I can't even get up it's ridiculous." He flopped around to demonstrate how exhausted he was.  


"You could sleep here- I don't mind. We can cuddle like the good old times," Frankie said it casually and Zach murmured in agreement like his heart wasn't pounding. He tore out of his clothes until he was wearing nothing but his underwear and slipped under the covers. Frankie climbed in with him, and Zach felt afraid.  


Back in the Big Brother House, he knew that Frankie and him couldn't ever go farther than chaste kisses and back rubs because of the cameras all around them. Now, there was nothing to stop him. Except himself.  


"You can't even imagine how amazing it is to be here with you again. It sucked being in the Big Brother house with just Cody and Victoria of all people for company."

"Ugh, Victoria's the _worst_. I'm glad you're here because I missed you, Frankie. Dude, I've been thinking about you. _Alot._ It's weird how much I think about you actually. It's lonely to sleep without you."

He held Frankie close, inhaled the scent of him, and wrapped himself tightly against him. Zach ran his hands up and down Frankie's chest, resting his fingers on his hips, and Frankie groaned. Zach was pressed so close that Frankie could easily feel Zach's semi straining against him.  


"Fuck- sorry. I just haven't gotten off in a while, dude. That's all." Zach turned away, and Frankie sighed.  


" _Mhhh hmmm_. Zach, do you want to talk to me about it? You said that back in the house we could talk about it when there are no cameras."  


"There's no it to talk about! I'm just- my body just likes the way you feel- and I haven't jacked off in a couple days. Please, forget it and- and let's just go to sleep."  


Instead of going to sleep, Frankie spooned him, and Zach could feel that he had gotten hard too. Frankie said nothing but pressed kisses to his neck and his hand stroked Zach's chest; those gentle fingertips exploring his body made him tremble in anticipation. It was hot, and Zach wanted Frankie to push his hand lower.

" _Frankie_ ," he groaned as Frankie's hand hovered above his waistband.  


"Yes, Zach?"  


"Maybe we shouldn't do this."

"You don't like it?" Frankie's voice was patronizing as his fingers mockingly brushed over Zach's erection, and Zach bit his lip to stop from groaning again. Instead he shifted away from Frankie's touch.

"I'm just not sure if- if I want it to be this way."

"Oh, it's fine," Frankie growled, "Maybe I can even platonically get you off, and then you can go get a girlfriend. Would you like that, dude? Hmm? That's what all best friends do-"  


"Fuck you!" Zach sat up and tried to leave, but Frankie grabbed his hand. 

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just frustrated with this, but we can just go to sleep if that's what you want. Come on- I missed you."  


Zach crawled back in, and Frankie, true to his word, rolled over to sleep.  


Zach, still semi-hard in his underwear, was left feeling relieved and disappointed. Why was he disappointed? He had been the one to push Frankie away. The face of his desire was right here, but he was a coward.  


"I missed you," Zach whispered into the darkness, but Frankie had already fallen asleep.  


                                                         ---------------------------------------------------------------

Zach spent the next day shuffling around Frankie, but they were once again locked in a house together so there was no where for him to hide. The next night, he crawled into Frankie's bed, and he was afraid Frankie would push him away but he didn't. Frankie just sighed and let Zach rub his back until they both fell asleep.

Zach woke up curled up around Frankie. He nuzzled into Frankie’s chest, and he realized, all at once, that he wanted to wake up this way everyday. Zach lay there, his revelation weighing heavily on him, and listened to Frankie breathing. He woke him up by kissing his neck.  


“Morning, love of my love,” Frankie was bleary eyed and beautiful as he took off his eye wrap.  


“Morning,” Zach kissed him, and it wasn't that different from kissing a girl except Frankie had a stubble. The kiss went from chaste to sexually charged within seconds as Frankie pushed him back and climbed on top of him. Frankie gripped his hair, harder than anyone had ever done, and Zach moaned against his mouth.  


“Do you want to talk about this?” Zach could have said a lot of things like how Frankie looked when he slept or how he thought about him always. Instead, he leaned upward until their lips were touching again. Frankie was doing this thing with his hips that Zach wasn’t sure what it was, but he was hard.  


The friction was wonderful, and Zach didn’t want to stop kissing Frankie so they just rutted against one another. Frankie, of course, started to put on a show as he touched himself with Zach watching, and Frankie kept grinding against him.  


Zach came first, red faced and panting, and he felt dirty coming inside his underwear like some pubescent boy. He gasped Frankie and kissed him on the lips.The sight of Frankie coming on Zach’s chest was almost enough to make him hard again.  


“You look so beautiful covered in my cum,” Frankie whispered.  


“Frankie,” Zach blushed at the dirty talk and covered his face with his hands as Frankie lay down on top of him. They were all sweaty and blissful, with sunlight starting to stream in through the curtains, and Zach never wanted to leave this room. He loved the way Frankie was looking at him like he was something to be treasured and loved, and he wanted Frankie to look at him like that for the rest of his life. Frankie stroked his face.  


“What’s your homosexuality level?”

“Like- 55 percent. Every minute I lay here in your, um-”  


“Cum?”  


“Yeah, every minute I lay here in _that_ my homosexuality goes up.” 

“Well,” Frankie licked Zach’s wet chest, “then I better hold you down here all morning until you're fully gay.”

“I’m not sure if that’s how it works, but we can stay together for now,” Zach whispered as Frankie pulled him into another kiss. He had to be careful because for now could easily turn into forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment if you enjoyed this! I will take any requests :)


End file.
